birds

I I love their curiosity.

Trains

I enjoy looking at miniature train stations, but not because I find them interesting.  What is interesting is the people that love them.  The old men that spend countless hours in detail perfecting the trains, wearing overalls and conductor caps.  They show up early on Saturday mornings playing the part, constantly tweaking their mechanical paradise.  The children (who are usually the smallest in the room) find themselves towering like giants over villages and towns.  They watch and observe in reverent awe over the surreal world beneath them…a world that is usually above them.  There is always laughter and amazement, but the most delightful sound is the silence.  Lips are quiet around the little villages because people are thrown instantly into a dreamy state.  Suddenly we are gods looking over the unsuspecting world…watching their trains and their stations and their towns and their lives move with an existential automated precision.

My Valentine

If I could have
any new lens,
any new gear,
any new speakers,
any new beer,
any new tv,
any new rings,
any new collection
of any new thing.
any new shoes,
any new tie,
any new trip,
through any new sky,
any new adventure,
any new ride,
any new swim,
in the ocean tides.
any new safari,
or a tv stand,
any new dog
an extra new hand,
any new this,
any new that,
any new food,
to get any new fat,

if i could have
any new thing
or any new thrill
for any new day
I’d rather have you
just plain ol’ you
to stay inside
and play.

Today

 

When there is no god, no purpose, no spark of identity that makes you special.

When purpose has no cause, and drive is it’s only benefactor.

When you cut out the sky above and the fears below.

When you throw away all excuses and justifications.

When you burn out the hopes supported by idealism, status, quo, and ‘how it should be’

All you have left,  all that remains,  Is

Today.

Without intent

This morning she kissed me on my forehead, just above my right eyebrow.  My eyes were closed.  I was in a dream walking somewhere, without intent.  The kiss was warm and sweet and kind.  I felt better knowing she loved me.

New Year’s Resolution

So this morning I was sitting there drinking my juice in my velcro shoes when I decided on a new year’s resolution. 

I know I’m a month behind, but I don’t really like to make commitments unless I’m serious about it.  I also like to be fairly confident I’ll follow through.  I’m not considering this a promise, just a challenge to myself.

I want to develop 12 or so (24?) images and perfect them enough to frame them and approach a shop (coffee?) to see if they will let me hang them on the wall with pricetags.

I’m only committing myself to 12.  It will require me to learn photoshop and it will mean that I have to take pictures every day…which I have been doing (yay me).  I don’t have a very good system for posting/storing images yet.  I have a new job and a new laptop and I’m still squeamish about putting things on it….and that’s my only real computer.  But when I get myself in a more formidable position I’ll start posting more pictures to see what you think.  I might start using flickr also (for feedback as it is a good social tool).

But I could really use your help.  What’s crap and what’s not.  That’s your job. 

Ahmed Samouni

This morning I wept for Ahmed Samouni of 16 years old who hid among his dead family members for days due to a bombing.  Their home sat in an area that would be considered vital terrain for the Israeli army  to control the southern Gaza strip.  He watched three of his brothers bleed to death including is 4 year old brother, Nissar who was in kindergarten.

“My brother Nissar was in kindergarten.  What’s his fault?  Why to get him shot?  He’s 4 years old.  He was with my mother.  She was hugging him when he died.  My brother Ismael kept bleeding for two hours…and then he died.  God grant us mercy”

Anyone who things war is a good idea is an idiot. 

link

Free Dream Reading

They say that this past week is the worst week for Christmastime blues.  Did you feel it?  I did.  (this supports my belief in the collective unconscious).  They say it’s tied to Christmas bills coming due and the general reality check that yes, you have to work for a living.

I had weird dreams this week.  It started out violent (losing everything (job, family)).  That was pleasant.  And then my week ended up just weird. Last night I had a dream about two of my friends having sex while a husband enjoyed listening to some music, smiling off in the distance.  That was surreal.  (and  yes, it included one of my posters).

Do you ever have weird dreams?  I love dreams. If you post your dream I will interpret it for FREE.  You just have to tell me what it was about and what was the prevailing emotion in the dream (if you know what it is).  And if you can, what was the prevailing image.  Those things will be enough.  Now, if you share you risk being exposed in the online community.  I do believe that dreams can be interpreted to give you a barometer of what is going on in your life.  I also believe that you are the best person to interpret them…but I’ll give it my best shot.

Now, most people don’t remember their dreams, and here’s why: we live in a society that doesn’t have any reason to.  There’s no religious, superstitions, or social cause behind them. Here’s how to remember your dreams…follow these steps:

1.  make it important.  Hell, even convince yourself that it will help understand your deepest self: because it will.

2.  place a pen and piece of paper next to your bed.

3.  the moment you can, sit up and pick up the pen and paper and write down anything you remember.  don’t wait for the shower to be over, don’t wait for anything.  As long as it is important to you you will remember them.

4.  get plenty of sleep.  dreams generally occur in the lighter stage of sleep, during REM sleep (unless it’s a night terror, then it’s the deepest stage).  But don’t think that you won’t get REM sleep if you don’t sleep well.  You always have REM sleep, so don’t stress on this one.

5.  post them to me (or email or whatever)

Did you miss me?

I know I haven’t written in a while.  I have a new job and a new facial hair that has kept me busy.  I’m trying to look better and smell better for the new year.  I haven’t set any new year’s resolutions yet, but I’m thinking about it.

I have a new job which puts me downtown Kansas city.  The exciting thing is that I am on the 10th floor, even more exciting, I have access to the roof (shhhh, it’s a secret).

I LOVE IT! 

Here’s a picture I took on Monday.

Ed

Ed is my dog of almost 12 years.  He died Monday morning in my arms as I was carrying him into the vet’s office.  It’s a somber week for my family, so here are a few things about Ed that I loved.

1.  He had an old soul.

2.  He was always by my side.

3.  He was very sensitive and gentle, tolerating my children who climbed all over him.

4.  He never caused harm to anyone (unless you count peeing on the occasional leg).

5.  He brought healing to our family and my marriage.

6.  He saw the worst of us and still loved to cuddle under the covers.

7.  He brought me outside all the time where he knew I loved to be.

8.  He was good at spooning.

9.  He liked to rest his head on me while we sat on the couch or bed together.

10. He would always come up and sit as close as possible so that we were touching somehow.

11. He was a good kind-hearted dog.